If you are currently in an abusive relationship, it is important that you know your web activity and other technology use may be monitored by your partner. It is important to clear your web history after visiting this page.
The Washington County Domestic Violence Crisis number is: 503-469-8620(Link opens phone app) or toll-free800-469-8600(Link opens phone app)
If you need immediate crisis counseling, please call the Washington County mental health line at 503-291-9111(Link opens phone app).
What is Domestic Abuse?
Domestic abuse is the willful intimidation, assault or other abusive behavior(Link is external) that is part of the pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It can include physical violence, sexual violence, financial control and psychological or verbal abuse. Domestic violence is an epidemic affecting individuals in every community, regardless of age, economic status, sexual orientation, gender, race, or religion.
Physical abuse is one of the most easily identified types of abuse. It involves the use of physical violence, or threats of violence, to maintain power and control over an individual. Physical abuse may include hitting, kicking, biting, scratching, pushing, pulling hair, punching or choking an individual. To maintain consistent power and control, physical abuse is often accompanied by more subtle types of abuse, such as emotional and verbal abuse.
Emotional and verbal abuse is reported in almost every case of domestic abuse where physical abuse is present. Emotional/verbal abuse includes name-calling, blaming, putting someone down, gaslighting, making someone a servant, and setting consistent, unrealistic expectations that are impossible to meet.
Sexual abuse can also be a part of an abusive relationship. Examples of sexual abuse include forcing a partner to perform sexual acts that they do not consent to, filming a partner during intimacy without their knowledge and permission, or threatening a partner who will not consent to perform sexual acts.
Financial abuse, such as withholding funds, hiding money, putting all assets in the abusive person's name or purposely destroying a partner’s credit, can also be a part of domestic violence.
Although domestic abuse is usually perpetrated by one individual toward their intimate partner, it can also include abuse toward other family members and children. One in four women, one in seven men, and one in two non-binary persons will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime.
Offering Support
If you suspect that someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, you can support them in many ways.
- Tell them what you see. Ask direct questions about their abuse, gently, and give them time to talk. Don’t rush into providing a solution. Just be there and listen.
- Express concern for their well-being. Assure them that this is not their fault and that they did nothing to cause the abuse to happen.
- Show support. Abuse tends to get more violent and more frequent over time. It is okay to mention this in your concern for them.
- Refer them to resources. Use resources from this website or from others and refer them to an agency that works with survivors of domestic abuse. Many organizations offer support groups and counseling that could be very helpful.
Educational Resources
Videos
What is Domestic Violence?(Link is external) (4 mins)
10 Examples of What Gaslighting Sounds Likes(Link is external) (5 mins)
Why domestic violence victims don't leave | Leslie Morgan Steiner | TED(Link is external) (16 mins)
Articles and organizations providing educational material
- Domestic Abuse - Why They Do It(Link is external): An article on abusive intentions and behaviors.
- Warning Signs and Symptoms of Abusive Relationships(Link is external): Provides information that can help you identify if a relationship has abusive characteristics.
The following pages provide additional educational information and resources on abuse and violence in romantic relationships:
- The Domestic Violence Resource Center (DVRC)(Link is external): A local non-profit agency that offers services, including crisis intervention and shelter, to domestic violence survivors and their children.
- Family Justice Center of Washington County(Link is external): A non-profit offering wrap-around services to survivors of family violence, all in one place.
- National Coalition Against Domestic Violence(Link is external): A national organization dedicated to ending domestic violence.
- NCADV Domestic Violence Information(Link is external): General information on Domestic Violence.
Safety Planning
Safety planning is important for a safe and stable future for yourself and your children. The following link will take you to an online safety plan. If you would like assistance in safety planning, please call CVS at 503-846-3026(Link opens phone app).
VISOR – Oregon’s Victim Notification System
VISOR(Link is external) is a free service that allows you to check an offender’s custody status in a county or state facility. You may register to receive automatic notification when an individual in custody (IIC) is released or transferred.
National 24-hour domestic violence hotline: 800-799-7233(Link opens phone app)